Miss you Dad...

My Dad

As a kid I was a monster, yes,  know it and acknowledge it. Also was daddy's girl. So daddy had to come and come me up from school. School was five minutes walk form home, but if I remember correctly dad always came in his blue scooter, and wait outside the school with all the other parents. The school bell had to ring and I would shoot out of the classroom and be the first to reach the gate into Dad's arms. This was a daily routine.

Except one day  instead of Dad, it was my Koo thatha (maternal grandfather, cause he traveled by train to work, hence the sound Koo associated with train) at the gate. I was so angry, my grandparents had a tough time handling my tantrums, strong people (may their souls rest in peace), silently bore everything out of their love for me & my brother. I walked into the house not willing to change till I was told about Dad's whereabouts. Just then two men called in on us and all I remember next is the scene in Kiran thata's (paternal grandfather, house just behind our apartment building). That scene is a little hazy but will never leave my mind, cause I had never seen anything like that before. Koo thatha was sitting on the floor looking distraught, like he had lost the only reason to live. At five I couldn't make head or tail of it. He had indeed lost ... my father (his son-in-law, he thought would replace the son he had lost to pneumonia early in life). 

Two men who called in on us,  had witnessed an accident, a scooter hit by a truck,on the main road close to our house. My dad was riding the scooter. I did not shed a tear, for I clearly remember telling myself, no crying like they show in the TV, you have to be strong. Then I remember my dad's face, peaceful, his body  wrapped in white cloth, it struck me then that I would never ever see him again.

I miss dad... but have a mom. I think about those who have lost both parents. Growing up I missed dad on many occasions, like when I saw my cousins with their father or when in a fight with mom and you just knew dad would have understood or just like that on a sunday afternoon. I often told myself to shut up about not having a dad and accept the fact which worked and continues to work. But there are times when I really miss him, like today 26 years (16th Dec) after his passing away.